Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Math teachers

I read on the Italian newspaper Corriere about a Math teacher engaged in sexual activities with 5 students at the local middle school... there was no intercourse, but they were all more or less naked in one of the classes, "busy" with each other... she is 33, the kids 13 and 14 years old...

Apart from the fact that she was fired from school on the spot, apart from the fact that she is indicted for violence on minors and rape, apart from her pathetic excuses on why she did it ("I thought one of them was 17... they started talking about sex, and one thing led to another... ), apart from the fact that she is a f***ing pervert...

... I could only WISH my Math teacher at middle school (a brunette version of barbie...) would have raped me, and I could only wish my 3 Math teachers at highschool would have raped me too (either one by one, or on a foursome...)... one of them was JUST like barbie, the other 2 were so hot and steamy...

Having said that, I was totally crap in Math... so...
What is so hot about Math teachers anyway?

Borat

Jagshemash!

A couple of weeks ago I went to the moviefilms with Clouds and Gio to watch "Borat", a must see 2006 winter season cult movie... very funny, although few parts pushed a bit to an extreme... the movie is about a Kazakh journalist sent to the US&A to study their cultural behaviors, and it's subdivided into stand alone parts... it's a real demential comedy, a mix between candid camera-style sections and actor studio parts... I have been watching the other character of Sacha Cohen, Ali G, since it aired few years back, and this is another big bull's-eye from this talented comedian... although Ali G was a rapper with a grammar of his own and Borat is a Kazakh journalist with a behavior of his own, the technique is the same: use catchy phrases that easily stick into people's minds... and it works, again! Respect... sorry, old fashion... I mean, VERY NICE!

It's a must see anyway, and the it's a real hit everywhere around the world, either at the box office, either at censorship offices, like in Russia and most of the Middle-East, where the movie was banned... please, come and see it, where you can... in any case, Borat (full title: Borat, cultural learnings of America for make benefit glorious nation of Kazakhstan) is a great success... everyday you read about him, not always positively (yesterday he was assaulted in NYC from someone who CLEARLY didn't like his movie) but no matter if positive or negative, news make up for valuable free advertisement... he also received a large number of lawsuits against, from people who felt betrayed, insulted, or just want more money... all this is simply endorsing his success... he recently was also a guest of Conans, where he tried to harvest Conan's red pubic hairs...


What makes this movie special, apart from the fact that it shows how ****** Americans are in general (after all he supports their war OF terror...), it's that it sticks into your mind, and everyone uses the phrases of the movie over and over again, and still laughs about them... I LIKE, YOU LIKE?? There are way too many to possibly mention them all, and there are some of the situations in the moviefilm that simply cannot be described, you just need to see to believe it...

Well, since I have been in Budapest it's been a Borat-oriented period with the colleagues here... HIGH FIVE! He is part of our daily conversations and makes many situations even more ridiculous than they are...

And as Borat says, go see it, there is just enough antisemitism to pass Kazakh tight moviefilms rules :)

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Farewell zio Giuseppe


Just few lines to remember a good man. My mom's uncle Giuseppe passed away a couple of days ago, and today is his funeral.

It's a shame I cannot attend, but my heart is surely there, thanking this good man for having been part of my life.

He spent most of his life in near-poverty, as after WWII he was a carpenter, and his job was to fix and make furniture. He was a real artist with his hands, carving and modelling wood with grace and beauty. Nowadays he would have made a good living to restore antique furniture, but back then things were different. Luckily his late years were made comfortable with the help of one of his sons who made furtune with a self-made businness and part of his family that never abandoned him.

What I will remember of uncle Giuseppe is his kindness, his readiness to help me at any moment, no matter how busy he was (he made so many toys for me when I was a kid!), his calm and friendly voice and his gentle smile, ALWAYS present on his face no matter how hard life had been with him. He was also a kind hearted person, one of the few to embrace my dad into the family when he moved to Milan in 1959. For many of the family, he was a foreigner since he was coming from the south but for my beloved grandpa (Giuseppe) and uncle (Giuseppe) my father was like a son. Surely my dad never forgot this, and I never saw him treating anyone with more respect than these two men.

Uncle, I will miss bringing you the Xmas present this year, it's been my task since I can remember... It's so true you never really appreciate what you have till you don't have it anymore... Good-bye uncle, you'll surely be missed!! This is my way to honor you, hope you can see it and appreciate it... Rest in peace...

Sunday, November 05, 2006

The aviation world (3rd world)

Ok guys, some time ago I have promised few words on the aviation world... unfortunately, there won't be just few words... so here I am, motivated by the latest E.U. rule on liquids allowed onboard in the hand luggage...

In the past century humanity has experienced an unprecedented development, both of civilization and technology... everything improved, everthing became better, bigger, faster, nicer, more comfortable... everything, except aviation, in general as a passenger, and in particular as coach class passenger (also known as economy, or cattle class, or cargo with chairs...)

What do I mean?

First of all flying has become a complete and utter chaos... different airlines have different rules on size and weight of luggages allowed, especially the hand luggage... some have 5kg, some 7kg, some 10kg, some 5 but on North American routes 8kg, some have no limitations, like Easyjet... it all adds up to confusion, you have to have a manual at home to check for which airline what you are allowed...with Ryanair, the most stupid experience... allowance, back then, 15kg for check in luggage and 10kg for carry-on... I go to check in, I have 17,5kg for check in and NO hand luggage... the lady, very kindly (NOT!), says I have to remove 2,5kg and keep it as carry-on... I argue by saying it's true the check in can only be 15kg, but total I'm allowed on board is 25kg, and by not having any carry-on I will seat down immediately without delaying other passengers and without delaying the flight... NO, either you remove the 2,5kg and bring them as hand luggage either you pay for them, now if you need to decide what to do, please move aside and let the others check in... f**k you, b**ch...no, seriously, f**k you...really...


Furthermore, some serve meals, some only snacks, some nothing, some serve alcohol, some everything else... the most stupid experience with Emirates... I am a frequent flyer, and I have in my personal preferencies, a request for Oriental meal... since I normally sleep while flying, half of the times I flew Emirates I missed out on my requested meal, because those smart flight attendants come around, check the seat number, they see me, next to me there is MOST likely an Asian person (mainly Indian or Chinese) due to the destinations I fly to, so they assume they made a mistake with the seat number and they give MY food to them... no, seriously, what is your problem? Can't a white guy ask for Oriental meals?? Is it so hard to believe?? Is it too hard to do your job properly? And what the hell are you looking at anyway?

On LTU you have to buy your own headsets in order to be able to listen to the lousy flight entertainment system, on Lufthansa the entertainment is the worst thing ever experienced in human history!! I speak for direct experience, unfortunately... Munich-Shanghai
, Airbus A340-600, brand new plane... no individual screen (to save some cash, cheap ass), only 20cm x 20cm screens in the middle section every 8 rows... I was at the 7th from the screen allocated, at the window... I could see nothing, for 13hrs flight... a pure nightmare... I think Emirates and Singapore Airlines spoiled me with personal screens and tons of choices on their newer aircraft... even United and Thai aren't bad from this point of view...

Then came the "attempted" terrorist attacks in London few months ago, and as results you would have no possibility to bring water or any liquids on board with you, or even no laptop... but for other continental flights, you could... for US&A destinations, you coudln't... for Asia, you could... in Beijing you can carry water, but you have to open the bottle so the police can SMELL (!!) and check it's truly water... in Shanghai, same country by the way, not necessary...

I'm already confused... and it's just the beginning!!

What about mobile phones? You can use them till the boarding, some other times till they close the doors, some others I don't know if people ever switch them off... it just happened on my way back from Barcelona 2 weeks ago, on short final someone received an SMS, with a loud unmistakable Nokia sound... I wonder if that SMS was from the pilot saying: "I told you to switch off the mobile, you f***ing moron!"

In Europe we can fly without the need of ID card or passport... no more borders... except UK... except you need an ID with picture when checking in... when boarding... so what's the f***ing point? Latest experience... I flew last sunday from Dusseldorf to Budapest... Germanwings flight... so I go to the check in, obviously they asked me for an ID to confirm it's truly me... then pass security control, go to the gate... BEFORE the gate, a Germanwings ground stewardess checked my boarding card and my ID, to make sure it's still me and I'm still on the list... 5 meters further, passport control... schone guten tag officer, believe it or not, it's still me, no kidding... since 5 meters ago, nothing has changed with me... behind passport control, the waiting room at the gate, an isolated room, the only way out is through passport control opposite direction and through the stewardess... here comes another stewardess, opens the doors, we are ready to board... ladies and gentlemen, be ready with boarding card and passport... what the f**k, do you think I had an home made sex change while waiting in front of the gate after the border control or you think all the passenger swapped their passports just to drive you nuts?? In any case, it's still us, checked 4 times now in 30 min, in aseptic rooms where there is no way out and no contact with others except for the fellow passengers of that flight... can anyone give me a break???? It's still me!!
To make things "funnier" (to use an euphemism), other Germanwings passengers have this recycable plastified boarding pass, where there is no chance to check if the name on the passport coincides with the anonimous boarding card... so why 2 different standards?? Even from the same airline...

Ok, this is all... no way, I was kidding you, it was just a wishful thought!! It's not all... Security check... I tend to use always the same shoes and belt when I go flying... In Brussels airport they have an issue with my shoes, in Dusseldorf I have to remove my belt, in Cologne nothing rings... In Dusseldorf I have to take my laptop out, in other airports not.... in Cologne they x-ray my luggage on my way OUT, after collecting it from the belt, in America they x-ray it at departure and in transit... In Jakarta, there are 2 different lines for checks, one for men, one for women... in Copenhagen, a woman checked and searched me... remove everything from your pockets, no, keep your ticket, no, keep your passport... in Brussels a hand luggage check at the gate before boarding for US&A... in front of everyone, so if I happened to have personal items, who cares??
Latest experience... flight Copenhagen-Amsterdam... AFTER landing in Amsterdam, they take us by bus and they tell us we have to go through a security check... after landing? We already went through it BEFORE the flight, obviously... do you think they sold us WMD at the Copenhagen duty free to carry on checks after landing from another E.U. country? So here we are with only 1 check point for 100 people, no priority for connecting passengers, no priority for impaired passengers, no priority for family with kids... a total mess, unbelievable for a country who always thinks it's better thean the others... well, guess what... y
ou are not! Adding stupidity to stupidity, in Amsterdam airport they are also IMPOLITE... standard announcement for late passengers on the loudspeaker: "mr so&so, you are delaying the flight... proceed immeditely to the gate or we will proceed to offload your luggage..." funny, very funny... you know where mr. so&so might be? I tell you where: STUCK in one of your NON-SENSE-upon-arrival-check-points with no f***ing priority for no one!! Talk to the airport manager... and leave the passengers alone, or at least be polite... very difficult in Holland, I guess it's not on the dictionary... Is it that I pay A LOT of security TAX on my ticket, so they check me more often? Is this their idea of good value for money???

Check in times... 1hr prior departure check in closes, for some 45 min, for others 30 min, for others you need 2hrs on international flights, 1hr on national flights... 20kg allowance, 30kg on North American routes, some airlines reduced to 20kg even there taking Marco by surprise last year... on Ryanair, it's 15kg and you HAVE to pay for each piece of luggage you check in...

Airmiles... with Germanwings you pay to have the right to collect them, with Singapore Airline, for as much as it is a wonderful airline to fly with, they chronically forget to give me my bloody airmiles (probably the service that sucks the most in the whole of Singapore)... some you can have airmiles only on flights between 2 specific countries, some with all flights, some they keep sending me mails in German...

You book a Lufthansa flight from the German website, it costs 20% of the price for the same flight on the Dutch website... both official websites... mail me, I will provide you with a German address... in India you have prices for Indians and prices for foreigners, normally costing double... for me a good reason to stay away from such a place, already... with immediate effect, European companies will enjoy direct routings, Indian companies not... same policy, sorry...

And what can you tell me about seat allocation? Low cost companies normally don't allocate, creating a mess at the gate, where they board the 1st 30 passengers who checked in, and punctually you have passengers, MAINLY middle aged women, who always pretend they didn't hear it and try to board with number 92... Air Berlin allocates seats, I'm so grateful I don't have to be walked over by over-excited people trying to get on board before everyone else! Can I have a window seat please?

Code share... is it legal anyway? How come I book a flight on airline XYZ website and I end up flying a totally different airline I didn't want to fly in first place?

So many things are so confusing, what about e-ticket and paper ticket? When it's only an email confirming your booking, and when is an e-ticket? I had an e-ticket saying I had to pick up a paper ticket at the counter before flight, no kidding!!! And what about if you book online for some airlines the credit card holder has to be a travelling party, whereas for others not? What about airport tax and credit card fees are ALWAYS different for each flight although I often fly the same airlines between the same airports?? Are they just making it up to blame someone else and PRETEND their prices are low??

Flying time... Ryanair flying time... book a flight from Charleroi to Bergamo... approximately 55-60min flying time... on their time table about 90 to 100min... so they leave late, normally about 10-20min if not more, and they eventually land few minutes before scheduled time, the over-inflated one... so the flight crew always says: "welcome to Bergamo, where we landed 10min earlier.." no, you didn't... you left late and you mislead your passengers with fake flying times... I seriously can't stand it...

Leg room... please! Don't get me started on how many airlines, including LTU and Cathay Pacific have a reduced leg room to fit more seats... terrible... EVA Air B747 Combi has the widest coach class seats I have ever experienced, with kilometers of leg room!! Try it to believe it...

Now, back to the new SMART E.U. rule on liquids... why I can't take a bottle on board?? Especially I would like to bring a bottle of champagne to my father when I go to visit him for Xmas, but according to this stupid rule, I can only bring max 100ml tubes for a max total of 1 liter... but, duty free can still sell all its alcohol bottles and whatever else, liquid and not... so has anyone some interest in increasing the businness of the duty free??? It seems like...


Now, if ALL I wrote above didn't convince you that flying is a jungle, what about the queuing? Queuing at check in, queuing at security check, queuing at the passport control, queuing at the gate, bus to the plane stuffed as a meat roll, queuing when boarding waiting for people to sit down after dealing with their hand luggage, inhuman leg room, queuing when getting off the plane, again bus totally packed to take you to the terminal, queuing at the passport control, wait for the luggage to be delivered... it sucks... it is... UN-so-f***ing-civilized....

So can anyone tell me if I fly from Milan to Amsterdam to NY with Ryanair and NorthWest, how much luggage can I bring, what kind of meals I will get, what kind of queues I will have to endeavor, how many times I will have to be triple-checked, if I can bring my laptop or not, water or not, food or not, how much will it cost me if I book from Italy and how much will it cost me if I book from Holland? Will I get my requested food, will I get food at all? What time shall I check in? How much will I need to run to make the gate on time after for so many times I was stuck in airport-artificially-induced queuing?Forget it...

And then, they complain about air rage...




Thursday, November 02, 2006

NBA, the opening night

Finally this individual sport dominated by hip-hop primadonnas known as the NBA is back.

Yes, there are a lot of things that could be improved in the NBA: from the obvious ones, like most of the "kids" still behave they are in the ghetto, they don't want to adjust to their new millionaire status, they obviously enjoy the money (plenty), the fame and their new place in society, but they still wanna behave like thugs... they go out at night to stripclubs (nothing wrong with this last thing, but they have also rules from their emplyer who pay them, or better, overpay them), but then they even end up fighting, being run over and shooting... right mr. Jackson?? WTF, is this a John Wayne movie or reality?? And, again him? Wasn't he involved in that ugly fight in Detroit? Will he ever learn?

Or the use and abuse of drugs (Portland as a team-building habit... although they started a clean-up campaign, already)... but widespread in the whole league...
The use and abuse of women (if I wanna eat tonight, I should say this is also wrong...)...
Arguing and fighting with fans (well, morons, not fans... the Palace brawl
, the big guy from Congo, Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean Jacques Wamutombo aka Mutombo being called a monkey: btw, that "fan" was banned for the whole season from each arena in the NBA)...
Skipping training, complaining about playing time, about the role played in the team...

Not getting along with each other (Spree and Carlesimo, Spree and Minny, Spree and Adecco, Kenyon and Karl, Ben and Saunders, Kobe and everyone else taking his spotlight, Ron Ron and the galaxy...)...
The refs influencing the games way too much, acc
ording to their mood... and all other sorts of childish behavor... Ron Ron being the leader in this, unfortunately... he will never learn neither...

There are also some less damaging issues, like the dress code to get away from this afro/hip hop culture that so much helped the NBA to become what it is now, but for dr. Stern, who used this for the league profit, now has enough and wants to reverse this trend back to white family businness-like, after all most of the rich and contri
buting are white rich families... in any case, it's a rule, and it hurts no one... someone said: " Let's see... These guys get paid tons of cash to go out and PLAY in something most people do for exercise and enjoyment. They are so mistreated by being told how to dress (no one has a dress code at their place of employment /sarcasm) and being told to act mature (again something no one is expected to do at WORK).
Anyone who wants to express their individuality by bucking against the rules, feel free to leave the NBA and take a job where you can feel free to talk trash to your co-workers and totally disrespect your customer base. Maybe if other sports would mandate some discipline we wouldn't have our kids looking up to thugs...".. AMEN brother...
... to the new ball, everyone hates it, probably dr. Ster
n does too, but to revoke it would mean admit the new ball is garbage (to put it in Zo's words) and eventually push Spalding into a near-bankrupcy...

But, despite all this, gosh I'm glad the NBA is back!

Now, leave all that non-sense behind and enjoy the next 6 months of action! Starting from opening night... already amazing stuff... the Miami Heat, after receiving their rings for the title won last June (can anyone tell me where they took the right to call themselves World Champs?),

were trashed at home by the young, up-and-coming Chicago Bulls... 108-66 the incredible result...I have to admit, the Bulls were fun to watch, and they have PLENTY talent available... if they can trade some of it for KG or Jermaine O' Neal, they could be nearly unbeatable... Day 2 in the season, the debut of lone-Italian and 2006 number 1 pick Andrea Bargnani, with the revised-uniform of the Toronto Raptors... not a grand opening for him, but I'm sure he will become a force sooner rather than later... 9 Min, 1-3 FGs, 0-1 3s, 0-0 FTs, 2 Rebs, 0 Ast, 0 Stl, 2 Blk, 1 TO, 3 PF, 2 PTS.... welcome to NBA, kido...

... needless to say, I watched both these games, a MUST!!

On a side note, it has to be remembered that Red Auerbach, mr. Boston Celtics, passed away at the age of 89... he won with the Celtics an NBA record 9 titles, a record tied in recent years by NBA's Zen master Phil Jackson... the Celts will dedicate their season to Red by sporting a black shamrock on their uniform with his name...

Asian influence: there are 82 international players in the NBA when the season starts, and if I'm not totally mistaken the only Asian representative is Houston Rocket's 2.26mt tall center Yao.

So everyone, buckle up, enjoy the ride and....

I LOVE THIS GAME !!!